Are you or others you know at risk for Vanillaitis?

Horror Story #1:

John Doe strode into the bedroom wearing His leather postal worker's uniform. He sneered at the bound and gagged figure on the bed as he reached into his latex mailbag. Jane Doe, a 29 year old schoolgirl, looked up at her Master, her eyes a mixture of fear and desire. She gasped as he brought a knife with a nine inch blade out of the bag. "I saw something on the Internet which I want us to try," He said sternly, "Are you willing?" Jane nodded eagerly and mumbled, "yeff Mather."

John smiled as he bent close and cut her free of her bonds. "Strip," he ordered as he began to remove his own clothes. Jane quickly complied, wondering what new delights her beloved Master had in store for her. "Lay back on the bed," He commanded. Jane did so. John then laid on top of her. "Tonight my dear," He whispered while reaching for the light switch, "We are going vanilla!" "No!" cried Jane as the room plunged into darkness.

The above tale is true. John eventually left Jane to move in with a vanilla woman. They now have a 24/7 vanilla lifestyle, regularly enjoying home improvements, Tupperware parties and sex three times a year.

Jane was more fortunate and now attends Vanillas Anonymous where with help and guidance she is slowly recovering. Only last week she was able to stand up and say, "I have the right to more than one sexual position!"

Vanilla is dangerous and should not be practiced at home. If anyone offers you vanilla sex, just say No. This has been a BDSM safety awareness announcement.

Author: Lady_Sweet at Alt.com

Horror Story #2:

Back in 2001-2002ish, while studying for a test with a friend on a park bench, this amazingly hot girl walks by. My friend went nuts over her, I was disinterested as the test was pretty serious and it was a chore to get him focused on the task at hand. About 30 minutes later she walks up to me and asks if I would like to go out sometime for a drink. I was a little frustrated because now my study-buddy was hot and bothered again and to top it off, he was jealous and pissed off the rest of the week because he "couldn't figure out why she asked me out and not him" and this was the third time I had been approached that month in front of him.

The answer to her question was, of course, no. She gave me her number and I called her a couple months later after finals as I told her I would. We met and hit it off. The chemistry was certainly there, however, she made it very clear that she was not kinky and thought certain activities were indicators of mental disorders or otherwise unhealthy. Despite that, I enjoyed the prolonged Tantric sexual encounters we had and during the first two weeks I began thinking that the bare-bones, yet passionate and intense, sex would be enough for the rest of my life. Also, she was submissive and served me well in the Christian Wife sense, which moved me to look that up and because of that, I found TakenInHand.com.

By week three, although I had no one collared during that time, I hadn't played with, or even thought of, any of my play partners as I was far too distracted with notions of "building a future" with this new girl. I began to be sucked in to her framework and perspective and started to feel "guilty" for wanting to do the things I once loved because I knew it would freak her out and/or not be something she would like. By the end of week four I began believing the BDSm Lifestyle was not something I should be wanting to do and that it was a good thing this girl had come into my life and save me from the path of debauchery I was headed towards. We went to a bbq pool party thrown by her friends and had lunch with her friends and fellow classmates as well. It felt nice to be in a different social circle, even though she was jealous and bitched about me "flirting" back at a couple of her friends...

Then sometime during week five, while having sex doggy style, her cute little hot ass was just right there looking at me. I noticed how white and untouched it appeared. I remembered how much better a hot little white ass looks red...then...I remembered how a purple, black and blue ass looks and my cock got so hard that she let out a gasp and said "where did that come from?" Throwing off the chains of guilt I had put upon myself, I replied, while grabbing the back of her hair, which was a first for her, "I didn't tell you to speak", and put a period on that sentence with a solid smack to her ass.

The record scratch was pretty loud, which, incidentally, ended that sexual encounter and began a "relationship talk" [aka girl attempting to control and change the man via speech and ultimatum and kills my boner for an extended period of time] about how what I did was inappropriate and not something one would do to someone they "loved" and if we were to progress with this relationship and have children in the future, I would need to attend anger management sessions first. I realized I hadn't said I "loved" her and never spoke of children or the future, which sparked the anti-cult/anti-brainwashing fail-safe in my mind, and in one powerful moment I discovered I was not being the Man I truly am. I had let myself start becoming the image or idea of something I thought I should be, that I thought she wanted me to be, that others think and expect that I should be, that society believes and mandates that I should be, a Vanilla ready to create or be plugged into a nuclear family.

I told her I needed to think about things and graciously thanked her for her perspective, as I always do regardless of how ridiculous that perspective may sound to me when I hear it, and considered it as if it didn't sound like it came from someone who didn't know all the facts about my life, beliefs, experiences, motivations, and who I am. Even with an open mind, I concluded, after much thought, that it was obvious that she did not make the effort to get to know me before sharing that perspective so it was inaccurate at best. I also knew she did not know anything about the BDSm lifestyle and that she lacked the interest or proclivity to learn about what it has to offer. I decided to end it, and with that decision, the VANILLAITIS was gone for the time being. She ended the relationship herself a day or two after -- yeah, the spank and what not really freaked her out.

Once the Vanillaitis cleared up, the situation helped me realized that I wanted to find a kinky lifestyle minded community if I were to be happy and have real friendships where others accept me for me. I had no problem finding playmates and slaves thanks to the internet, but I wanted more. I thought, why not me? Why can’t kinksters get together and have a kinky bbq and pool party? Why can kinksters go out and have a night on the town doing kinky stuff?

Soon thereafter, I hopped online and found LairdeSade.com and joined its mailing list. Although I was far too busy with school and getting ready for a difficult exam to enter the community [or do anything as my weekends were spent in the library], the emails I would get every month from the Lair would remind me that there was a home to come to once I was done with school and got settled in a good job. I was all set to go once just to see it, but sadly, received the email sent out about the kitchen fire and that it would be closed for a while.

About three to four years later, in 2006, once I found a worthy slave to accompany me to the Lair, I attended my first insight and met a great man, Kane and some other very cool, down to earth and accepting kinky people many of whom have become dear friends of mine. Later that night, I checked out the Orange County scene, which is where I lived at the time before taking a position in Hollywood, and was impressed with Dragons Gate, the first professional dungeon I had ever stepped into, and met even more kinky people and the rest is history.

I am happy to say that Vanillaitis hasn't creeped up again, however, Privateitis, which can be easily confused for Vanillaitis, has creeped up a few times primarily while I was initially adjusting to the Public Scene, which sets you square in the middle of a vast array of sensitive egos that form a virtual minefield of eggshell sensitive triggers that you will set off no matter what you do, [and eventually learned that that’s ok], an increased need for me personally to keep things reality-based given I found myself in the land of BDSm fantasy books and fantasy-based belief systems that doesn't vibe well with me, an increased need to keep one’s own ego from it too devolving into a sensitive minefield that just holds everyone's progression to the next level back – let alone keeping one’s ego moderated/in-check, and some other challenges, but that's another story for another website. ;)

Author: Simon Blaise